Mr. Tan去世了。为了悼念他，在他出殡后的那个晚上，我写了一封英文信件给不谙中文的他。这一封信，我曾念给队友们听。现在我试着翻译，和你们分享。 我是这样写的……
3 月 8 日 晚上十点
You stayed in the hospice as a palliative care patient for nearly 14 months……
You didn’t choose to survive for so long. You wished you had a choice.
You had family members who visited you only in your heart……
You needed support to help you live before you could die……
Some said you were impatient and hot-tempered……
Some said you were taking more morphine than you needed……
Some said you were insistent on smoking in your room……
The first time that I entered your bed room, because I heard you sobbing.
You said your best companion was the oxygen concentrator……
You needed a listening ear……
You yearned for understanding of yourself……
You were suffering……
You decided dreamt of a Steamboat Restaurant……
A place that holds many memories for you since your childhood days……
Together, we made your dream come true……
We had steamboat dinner together at the exact table you as yearning for……
I didn’t forget to bring your oxygen concentrator and your wheelchair to accompany you too……
That was also the first time you decided to share about your family problems……
You reflected upon your failed marital relationship in one statement……
“Sometimes, you think that you are right. But, when you looked back, you might be totally wrong.” I didn’t expect this statement influenced me so much. It always alerts me not to make any bias and hurtful judgment about people around me.
It was Christmas Eve……
You gave me a big food hamper after I toured you around at the hospice and the hospital……
You said, “Yi Liang, you must receive this hamper from me. This is the season about receiving and giving. You can’t just always give your help to us; you also have to learn how to receive it from us.” This little caring action was extremely touching to me.
It was hard not to notice that you were deteriorating physically.
You did not attempt to hide your anxiety and fears of your impending death……
You spoke about regrets……
You spoke about seeking forgiveness……
You expressed heartfelt appreciation to the nurses, doctors and ward staff……
You finally found what you needed to call your two daughters to ask them to visit you. And they did……
You died on 9pm on 5 Mar.
At the funeral parlour, with the presence of your daughters, I saw you lying inside the coffin with a peaceful looking face. I recalled that you used to chant whenever you felt lonely and anxious. I picked up the paper of Metta Chant, and read up the scripture for you, again.
“Dear Mr Tan,
May you be free from enmity and danger,
May you be free from mental suffering,
May you be free from physical suffering,
May you take care of yourself happily.
Thank you, Mr Tan.”
After finishing the chanting, I slowly gave you a deep bow as my last tribute.
You taught me that there is little meaning in arguing about the “rights” or “wrongs” in life. Most of our problems in life can be resolved if there exists a deep human connection. With you, I have gained more than what I have given.
Thank you for using your life to teach me about Caring and Forgiveness……
Take care, Mr Tan.
8 Mar (10p.m.)
P/S：Once again, thanks for teaching me a real lesson while you were in pain and dying.